Category Archives: song lyrics

song lyrics, Uncategorized

You Can’t Kill Love (No Matter How Hard You Try)

Dedicated to you. If you think it’s you, it is.

I tried to kill my love for you.
I shot it full of holes—
Stabbing, choking, poison—
In a battle for my soul.
I tampered with its brake lines.
I stretched it on the rack.
I surgically removed my heart,
But it kept coming back.

FEMALE CHORUS
Love SAYS, “I didn’t vote for
This fate for you, my friend.
But I’ll be here, year after year,
Until the very end.
Until the stars wink out at night
And the sun turns cold and stark.
‘Til Entropy rules splendidly
In a last act cold and dark.

I tried to drown it in the bath.
I held it down for hours.
I tried to bury love for you
Beneath the yellow flowers.
But up it leaps from way down deep
And struts upon its stage.
It reads the saddest tale of all,
But never turns the page.

MALE CHORUS

I tried to drown it in a bottle
They made in old Bombay.
I persevered for 10 long years
And 27 days.
But love kept coming back
Like a cat with 7 lives,
With big sharp teeth, a screeching voice
And claws like switchblade knives.

I tried to hang it on my chest
Like a medal for the brave.
I tried to spank it publicly
In hopes it would behave.
But it acts just like a spoiled brat
With snot upon its nose
And so I beat it ceaselessly
With a stick and rubber hose.

FULL CHORUS

Is it too late for a life on Broadway?

Brother-Man, Joe Troyer comes through again! This is an early run-through of the song in his best country/folk rendition. Thank you, Joe.

Poetry, song lyrics

The No Memory Song

I am 73 years old on this writing. No person of this age ignores the prospect of diminishing cognitive abilities. If it is inevitable, I have written this song and addressed my care-givers. If you laugh, it’s ok. If you cry, it’s ok. I’ve done both in writing this. What I haven’t done is have a miraculous recovery of my singing voice. The video will attest.

Here are the lyrics if you want to sing along:

The No Memory Song
Sung to tune of Ripple by Grateful Dead

If I lose my mind, will you still love me?
When my mem’ries fade, like the morning dawn,
If I see your face and I call the wrong name,
Would you still hold me? Is that fear forgone?

If I just forget to eat my breakfast.
Or worst of all, when I eat it at two,
Will you wave your hand and just forget it?
Because you know I’ll forget it too.

Silence speaks a language.
When there is no knowing thought,
Words do not flow.

If I call your phone when I get lost driving,
When I can’t make sense of the streets and roads?
Will you talk me through each turn and corner
And smile at my face when I get safely home?

If I get too sad but I can’t say why, Dear,
I feel there was something great before,
Will you hold my hand and sit beside me
Until the sun goes down and is no more?

Silence speaks a language.
When there is no knowing thought,
Words do not flow.

If I lose the words to sing this song, dear,
And I stumble and start and stop in pain,
Will you let me hum and call it singing
This song to you a few more times again,
This song to you over and over again,
This song to you again and again and again?

La da da da da La da da da da
La da da La da La da da da
La da da da da La da da da da
La da da da La da da da da

[290]

No Singing Voice Either!

UPDATE: Friend, Joe Troyer, put this video together and I host it on my YouTube channel. Enjoy…he’s a much better singer than I.

This is what it sounds like from old friend, Joe Troyer.
Poetry, song lyrics

I’m Tired of Living in a Country Song

Let me make it clear: this is not tale of my life today. It was a time in my marriage that was much different from now. But I can’t deny it was a real time. Also NOTE, regular text is spoken, italic text is sung.


I’m tired of living in a country song
But here I am,
Sitting in my truck,
Looking down an endless highway
With less than a quarter tank of three dollar gas.

I’m tired of living a country song
So, I’ll take the truck and drive along.
I’ll let the dog ride shotgun next to me.

But any old road that I choose now,
Well, that’s a road you won’t go down.
So, we’re headed in different ways, it’s plain to see.

The only thing I know for sure
Is you don’t want me around no more
And I’m staring down a highway I can’t drive.

I’m sick and tired of mad and sad.
I’m looking hard for a little glad,
And we’re layin’ down this song in concert live.

The biggest question we have right now
Is who gets custody of the last dog,
And if I have time to get my teeth fixed
Before the insurance runs out.

Highway moves from town to town.
But staying here just brings me down.
I just can’t be the me I wanna be.

I know you know I’m not the man
You tried to make when we began,
And I can’t be the me you wanna see.

So maybe I’ll grab the dog and drive away
Drink some beer and
Learn to play the slide guitar.
Wish you luck
And catch your act in Wichita.

All duets will end one day
And each of us is less, they say,
Than half of what we were when we were one.

But less than half is more by far
Than all of any falling star
That burns completely out before it’s done.

I’m tired of living a country song
So, I’ll take the truck and drive along.
I’ll let the dog ride shotgun next to me.

But any old road that I choose now,
Well, that’s a road you won’t go down.
So, we’re headed in different ways, it’s plain to see.

[244]

I do not claim to be a fine singer!

Parody, song lyrics, Uncategorized

Chocolate Sprinkles

You know I don’t write these things to rip off famous people. I write them (and “sing” them) as an homage. I mark them as parody for legal purposes.

I adore Tom Waites. He and I are on parallel developmental paths. His involves more fame and money, but the aesthetics are parallel. This is called

Chocolate Sprinkles.


I have to get chocolate sprinkles
on my ice cream when you’re away.
If I don’t get chocolate sprinkles,
I’m bound to have a shitty day.

Chorus
I thank God for chocolate sprinkles.
I thank God for vanilla ice cream.
I thank God you don’t leave me
Except in my worst kind of dreams.

Chocolate sprinkles can’t hug and kiss me.
They can’t even stroke my cheek,
But they liven up my whole demeanor
And make me smile when I am weak.

Chorus

I don’t want no hot fudge sundae.
I don’t want no banana split.
I sure as hell don’t want no sorbet.
And waffle cones taste like shit.

Chorus.


[130]

Is this REALLY singing?

Parody, song lyrics

Banging and Crunching

I wanted to see what AI could do in terms of writing a song. Here is the prompt and the result. (The first one is AI. The second one is me. It’s probably a tie.)

Prompt: Write a classic rock song about a retiree’s narrow life in a universe that expands infinitely.

Verse 1:
Woke up one morning, feeling so darn old
Got aches in my bones, my story’s been told
Been livin’ life in the slow lane, same old song
Watching the world fly by, feels like I don’t belong

Chorus:
In a universe that’s ever expanding
My life seems so narrow, suffocating
Gotta find a way to break free, to fly
Before my time’s up and the whole world passes by

Verse 2:
I’ve been stuck in this rut for far too long
Wasting my days in a routine floatin’ on
But the universe out there is vast and grand
And life’s too short not to make a stand

Chorus:

Bridge:
I may be getting old, but my spirit’s still young
With the fire in my soul, I can’t be outdone
Gonna take that leap of faith, spread my wings and fly
In the face of a universe that refuses to die

Chorus:

Then I watched Monty Python’s video The Galaxy Song and this happened.

Banging and Crunching
(Since You’ve Been Gone)


Verse:
I’m a 73 year old retiree.
I spend my day primarily making tea (and pee)
Though there’s no one here with whom I converse,
I’m the center of the expanding universe.
We’re a hundred miles apart since that day
Three years ago when you went away, (far away)
Like drinking good cognac,and hiking up a track,
Getting gone takes less time than getting back.(that’s a fact)

Bridge:
The math is undeniable, Sweetheart.
Since you left we’ve drifted far too far apart

Verse:
Einstein’s Relativity cleared the path.
Hubble marked the signposts in his math. (so much math)
It’s not that everything flies away.
It’s the space itself expanding every way.
From right to left to up to down to back
You are speeding out away into the black.
From my front to to your front, however, dear,
A red shift is apparent, seen from here. (It’s clear.)

Bridge:
My only hope is to see the start of the Big Crunch
In a 100 million years or so we can shout and wave a bunch

Verse:
I’ve done some calculations on the cuff (off the cuff!)
To see if this distance is enough
At 42 miles a second per megaparsec,
And under this much gravity—double check— (what the heck)
The father away, the faster you recede
The longer gone, the greater is your speed.
Like raisins in the rising raisin dough,
We’re sitting still all while we’re on the go. (Sooooooooo)

Bridge:
I’m rooting for the Big Crunch I’ll wait right here for you
And in a billion years or so, you’ll be right here with me too.
Until the Big Crunch I’ll wait right here for you
And in a billion years or so, you’ll be right here with me too.

(90)

song lyrics

Beer Drinking and Deep Thinking

I sit with my deep thoughts while I’m drinking.
No need for any friends to interrupt.
A pop top on a beer can starts me thinking—
Like what went down and now what is up?

A beer can change your mind if you let it.
Two beers can erase a joyless frown.
Three beers can often help forget it.
(1) Four can make you howl like a hound.
(2) Four makes everything go out of round.
(3) Four can make it easy to fall down.

Sometimes I have a beer and sit, just thinking.
I often think deeper most the day.
I think about life and how I end up blinking
At how it all turned out this-a-way.

If you don’t think it through on the first one
A second or a third may help a bit
By 4 or 5 or 6 you’re having some fun
By 7 you’re just a drunken shit.

Refrain

I’ve found there is truth in a beer can
But it takes a lot of time to get it out.
You can’t chug a thought like a keg stand.
You have to sit and struggle with the doubt.

Did I do the things that I shoulda ought to?
Or did I just waste a lot of days?
If I could get to do all this stuff over
Would I just end up old anyway?

[89]

song lyrics

Little Hippie Farmer, Kate

1 Comment

Note: this is a creative account of events, some might be based on some truth.

Another note: I have been obsessively listening to John Prine for a couple of weeks. He finally broke through here. Yes, you can sing this to a good number of his compositions. And you should.

Kate is a little bit different.
Her brain is wired inside out.
She thinks when you garden topless
it keeps peaches from drying out.
She proved it with a picture
and peaches freshly picked.
Kate’s 5 foot 2 and through and through
She knows those farmers’ tricks.

Chorus:
Little hippie farmer
standing by a pot plant
in the middle of her garden,
out behind the barn,
smiling at the camera
and the fresh fall sunshine
in a little black something,
just tryin’ to stay warm.

I sent her seeds though the mailbox.
I know it was a federal crime.
But she could grow anything, ya know,
Like she was back in the olden time.
So, along about the harvest
She sent me back a little pic.
It made me smile to see her smile,
By a plant of 6 foot 6.

Chorus

It was green with heavy blossoms
But it was skinny as a rail.
It promised good things would happen
If we could stay out of jail.
Then suddenly it was legal!
All our sins were washed away.
We’d grow our own and we’d stay stoned
From now until Judgement Day.

Chorus