Category Archives: Parody

Trumpertalky

(Advice to Special Prosecutor, Robert Meuller)

 

’Twas orange, and the Covfefe
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy was the vast toupè,
And lady parts outgrabe.

“Beware the Trumpertalk, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Rocket Man, and shun
The frumious Pussysnatch!”

He took his sword to Nambia:
Long time the dotard foe he sought—
So rested he by the Antifa,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in white bread thought he stood,
The Trumpertalk, with eyes of flame,
Came shooting out the eyeball blood,
From wherever it came!

One year or two! And through and through
The fiscal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
Went paper trailing back.

“And hast thou slain the Trumpertalk?
Come to my arms, my rightish boy!
O Mexico will pay for this!”
He chortled in his joy.

’Twas orange, and the Covfefe
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy was the vast toupè,
And lady parts outgrabe.

When Was America Great (Before)?

Speculation on my FaceBook page is that the Trumpster is thinking of pre Voting Rights Act, Pre Civil Rights Act when he thinks of the America he wants to take us back to. I tend to think it might specifically be the years 1956-1964. Those would have been very formative years for The Donald. Pre-civil rights, pre-womens’ liberation, pre-Vietnam War protests. you know, back when it was a White man’s world.

Consequently, I believe we should try to communicate with him and his Trumpsters via those images and appeals. They aren’t very good at doing the 21st Century. So, here’s my first appeal.

Eddie Cochran co-wrote and performed this song, originally released in August of 1958. I have only changed a little of it so as to not shock his system too drastically. Think of me as a pacemaker. He has been a little erratic lately, so I’m the pacemaker. Bzzt! Straighten up, Donald.

Feel free to play the Eddie Cochran video below and substitute the lyrics below. Kind of karaoke-style. If you play the guitar, make a video and I’ll link to it too.

I give you, Ain’t No Cure for the Trumpertime Blues.

I’m gonna raise a fuss, I’m gonna raise a holler
About a-workin’ all summer just to end up with the Donald.
Every time I call my baby, and ask him for a date
“No dice,” Trumpster said, “you need a lady mate.”
Sometimes I wonder what I’m a-gonna do,
But there ain’t no cure for the Trumpertime blues.

Well my mom and poppa told me, “Son, you gotta make some money,
“Cuz there’s no pensions left, now ain’t that funny?”
Well I didn’t go to work, I was too damned sick
“You’re fired!” Trumpster said, “cuz you didn’t work a lick.”
Sometimes I wonder what I’m a-gonna do
But there ain’t no cure for the Trumpertime blues

I’m gonna take two weeks, gonna learn me some knowledge
‘Bout the kinda damn fools in the ‘Lectoral College.
Well, I called my congressman and he said “Whoa!
“I’d like to help you son but you’re too broke to vote.”
Sometimes I wonder what I’m a-gonna do,
But there ain’t no cure for the Trumpertime blues.