Underwear Goes On First – A Poem-Play in One Scene

Me at the dresser: Socks, underwear, tee shirt
Always put your underwear on first
To keep your butt juice off the bedspread.
Then socks,
Then tee shirt.
You: Why do you have to be so gross?
Me: What? Butt juice?
You: Well, no poem ever contained the image of “butt juice” before.
Me: unique, innovative.
You: Ugly, disgusting.
Me: True.
You: Isn’t there enough ugly in the world? Why fill up your poems with “butt juice?”
Me: Art isn’t always pretty.
You: But “butt juice?” That’s just gross sick factor.
Me: Should I say “anal leakage” instead? Would that calm it down for you?
You: No, why have it in there at all? Why a poem about putting on your underthings? Why that disgusting stuff?
Me. Some things about life are a little disgusting. Some are very disgusting.
You: But art should serve the beautiful.
Me: Yup, that’s why underwear goes on first: serves to preserve the bedspread.
You: I don’t like your art.
Me: Do you put your butt juice on the bedspread?
You: NO!
Me: I think you like my poems just fine.

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