Ancestors in my family
(mostly women–the men are heathens)
believed that when the Turkey Vultures
roosted in the trees,
the lower they roosted
the greater chance of a death nearby.
It was not always a person.
Sometimes a pet or a milk cow.
I have been feeling a step or two
closer to death all winter,
but with the return of the Vultures
and the very late hints of an actual Spring,
I have felt Death’s silent retreat.
She understands her eventual victory
and she is satisfied to be patient.
The Buzzards have been working the back roads
now that the snow is gone,
especially in the ditches by the two lanes.
Winter has conspired
to preserve and to age
deer carcasses
and the hairy lumps of raccoons and opossums.
The Raptors survived the snow that lingered
after their arrival
on a predictable fare of flat squirrels.
The Old Ones are patient too.
All day they have wheeled high in the sky.
They constantly survey eight square miles.
They watch and they wait.
They understand their inevitable victory as well.
They come from miles to roost in loose communities.
They wheel in from on high
in tight arcs, left and right.
They depend on smaller currents,
Invisible to us.
A precise and studied aerial ballet,
they spill air from powerful wings,
which if provoked
can break a man’s forearm,
wheel tight through branches.
Again spill wind,
drop the back of the wing to slow speed, spill air,
drop the black curtains of feathers,
to hug the air to breast and
to stop
with no visible support.
To step
off the wind onto the branch
more than halfway to the top of the tree.
Folding wings, they squat motionless,
hunching their shoulders into the last fading rays of the sun,
black, slender lumps on the limbs of leafless trees.
They sleep
and dream Vulture dreams
of warmer days
and bounty.
Dear Grandchild,
(If we share a funny name for each other, put yours here ____________.)
(If we don’t have one, you should be called Farnsworth…
unless your real name is Farnsworth,
in which case you should be called Bingo,
like the dog.)
Time has gotten stretched in my generation.
Everything takes people longer now.
Childhood lasts a very long time.
When I was a child,
I couldn’t wait to be an adult.
Each birthday mattered. Even half-birthdays.
5 meant go to school
8 meant getting homework
10 was DOUBLE DOUBLE DIGITS DIGITS
12 was a dozen
14 meant high school
16 meant drivers license! Freedom! Buy gas! Pay tax!
18 meant adult. Move out. Go live your life.
But here I am writing to you when I’m almost 70
And I don’t know how long we will know each other.
One or some or none of you may not be BORN yet!
If you know me,
I hope I loved you enough and
Just the right way.
If you don’t know me,
Or you can’t remember,
I did love you,
Even if we didn’t say hello face-to-face.
I have held you as much as you needed.
I wanted each of you to need holding
As much as I wanted.
I smelled your baby head.
I can still smell your baby head.
I was there when you ran,
When you swam,
I was there when you scored in soccer.
And when you sang in the play.
I’m still there whenever you do something important.
Baptism? Yup
Wet your pants in school? Uh huh
Hit the ball?
Stopped the shot?
Wanted to ask out that special person?
Picked a puppy at the rescue?
I was there.
When you think of me,
I’m there.
I’m there
Any time you think of me.
In the Before Time
the animals lived in peace
among themselves.
The forest was their home.
But the Sun lived outside the forest
and threatened to turn the forest into desert,
to singe the trees and dry the ponds and rivers.
The Animal Council decided that one of them
must deliver the sun high into the sky,
to hang it there so that all would be safe.
Turtle was selected
because of the armor on her back
and her ability to march all day.
It would be a long trip to the apex of the sky.
In the days before the Two-Legs Turtle had a lovely voice,
one that nearly purred as she thanked the Animal Council
for the opportunity to serve the greater good.
She took the Sun on her back
and sprang immediately to carry it aloft.
But before she could get even a quarter of the way to the heavens
she shrugged off the sun.
Her back was burned deeply.
She fell, screaming all the way down from the sky
and landed hard on all four of her legs.
She tried to run to the river to cool her burns
but her legs were so damaged from the impact
she could barely crawl.
To this day the outside of the turtle’s back is black and melted,
Her legs are mere stumps with claws.
The only voice she has left is a hideous hiss.
The long midnight conversations
of her kind are lost forever.
The frogs pitied her loss of voice.
The fishes swam under her as she rested on a log in still-too-hot sunshine.
But all was not lost.
Opossum was blessed with a great bushy tail in those days.
Her tail was the envy of Fox
and boastful, chattering Squirrel.
She could wrap the sun in her tail
and finish carrying it to the top of the sky.
She embarked, in the dark, the Sun completely shrouded
in her tail. The stars were her only guide
as she set off to the Heavens.
But only half-way there,
the sun began to burn out of her tail and
to spill light and heat throughout the firmament.
Opossum tumbled back to earth,
falling around her burning tail, screaming
until her voice too was gone,
reduced to a vicious, hissing snarl.
Opossum’s tail is a pink, hairless, burned worm to this day.
The Animal Council did not know what to do.
Things were only a little better, but it was Spring.
In Summer, the temperatures would rise.
Surely the forest would not survive.
Of her own volition,
the most regal of all the birds,
the Turkey Vulture, set off to right the world.
Her long, powerful wings lifted her slowly skyward
to where the sun hung half-way between Earth and Sky.
Turkey Vulture was the most beautiful of all birds
in those days.
A great crown of a thousand colored feathers
adorned her head
and a ruff of the same wrapped her neck.
When she reached the sun
she placed her head against the burning orb
and pushed with powerful strokes of her long wings.
She carried the sun to its safest height.
Here the sun could warm the earth
and the waters but the great scar of desert
would grow no larger.
All Turkey Vultures since have lived with
bare scarred skin on their heads and necks
instead of their birthright of the glorious crown of feathers
she had been given by the Mother.
She too, no longer speaks.
An angry, snuffing hiss through her nostrils is the best she can muster.
She still flies with no effort
riding the sun’s thermals and
the uplifts it sets in motion.
She no longer associates with the other animals
or the Animal Council. Some say it is her lost pride.
But the forest abides.
In the back pond,
while I am burning leaves
and winter-downed limbs,
two Red-wing Blackbirds
chatter “chuck” in the reeds.
I tried to join their conversation
and they went silent–
two black-eyed parts,
invisible in the wider sytax.
In the next door front yard,
the neighbor’s daughter
is standing in early sun with her new beau.
They also chatter.
Their eyes shine for each other.
I did not try to join their conversation,
although I know the language.
I must apologize to the vines this year.
I was much too late in the pruning.
Instead of my cuts coming in the middle of winter,
when cold and ice have anesthetized
their limbs on cordons of frozen steel,
I was in my own darkness,
wrapped in a blanket that hindered action.
I merely bore out the short gray days and
stared impotently into the black nights.
Winter shook me like a dog shakes a snake in summer.
Instead, I come to them in a time
more comfortable for me–
A warming day,
knowing
that the necessary cuts come in Spring–
that living sap will leak
because of my tardiness,
that I risk the health,
of buds,
of growth,
of flowers,
of fruit,
the wine.
I am sorry.
I will do better now.
Our chemistry is better applied this Spring.
I vow to better protect against living rabbits and deer,
against a thousand kinds of scuttling bugs,
against the single minded mania of birds
and greedy ground squirrels.
The end-of-the-season Autumn battle
will be fierce.
I cannot be certain of next November
or her cruelest shorter sister February,
But I can offer the summer, still with hope.
Before knowing
There is not knowing.
We bumble along
In our ignorance
Like a bee bypassing a flower
And we care not–
Because we know not.
Then suddenly we know.
Ignorance is torn,
Like a worn garment
discarded.
We bumble on
With the new known.
But for some few of us,
There is the new not known.
That which was known
Is known no more.
We no longer know the flower.
The scent is foreign.
Genus and Species slide back
Into unknowing.
This nectar is not known,
And then nectar is not known.
My sister reminded me that
As a nearly teen
I accumulated my toenail and fingernail
Clippings in a small blue medicine bottle.
Someday, this will be valuable,
I no doubt thought.
Genuine DNA from
Steve Daniel Marsh,
In a form readily accessible
And immeasurably identifiable
By the average fan or devote´.
Perhaps I thought this was an investment.
I could sell them later
When I was Elvis
Or Picasso
Or Hemingway.
Or I could give them to friends
And lovers as tokens–
Keepsakes of fidelity
In a world so empty and ephemeral.
What would you give for an original
Certified Elvis toenail?
I’ll bet they are worth thousands.
The market begged for expansion:
Hair, spit, later razor stubble.
A variety of solids and liquids,
Discarded clothing.
Collections work that way
For those with forethought.
Me at the dresser: Socks, underwear, tee shirt
Always put your underwear on first
To keep your butt juice off the bedspread.
Then socks,
Then tee shirt.
You: Why do you have to be so gross?
Me: What? Butt juice?
You: Well, no poem ever contained the image of “butt juice” before.
Me: unique, innovative.
You: Ugly, disgusting.
Me: True.
You: Isn’t there enough ugly in the world? Why fill up your poems with “butt juice?”
Me: Art isn’t always pretty.
You: But “butt juice?” That’s just gross sick factor.
Me: Should I say “anal leakage” instead? Would that calm it down for you?
You: No, why have it in there at all? Why a poem about putting on your underthings? Why that disgusting stuff?
Me. Some things about life are a little disgusting. Some are very disgusting.
You: But art should serve the beautiful.
Me: Yup, that’s why underwear goes on first: serves to preserve the bedspread.
You: I don’t like your art.
Me: Do you put your butt juice on the bedspread?
You: NO!
Me: I think you like my poems just fine.