The great sin of my life
Was committed out of greed.
Because I wanted it.
I lied to all of us about it.
Dressed the lie up in glittering raiment
To disguise its petty nature.
Called it Love.
But it could not last.
It could not hold.
No plan was forged in the long nights.
No sacrifice on my side
To offset the gains I lusted for.

And so I lost,
Our way.

I stumbled over miles and acres,
Tore flesh and clothing
on rocks and brambles
And psychic snags.
Fell full-faced into debt-sodden mud,
Caked and sticky for decades.
Lost my shoes and then the path.

There is no gift after sorrow.
There is but greed with grasping.
There is no holding–no caress.
And every gain is met with loss
And every hope is dashed by retribution.

Guilt fails,
And fails again to re-prove itself.

I am diminished.
I am smaller than I might have been.
I tell you a true story.

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