You know I don’t write these things to rip off famous people. I write them (and “sing” them) as an homage. I mark them as parody for legal purposes.

I adore Tom Waites. He and I are on parallel developmental paths. His involves more fame and money, but the aesthetics are parallel. This is called

Chocolate Sprinkles.


I have to get chocolate sprinkles
on my ice cream when you’re away.
If I don’t get chocolate sprinkles,
I’m bound to have a shitty day.

Chorus
I thank God for chocolate sprinkles.
I thank God for vanilla ice cream.
I thank God you don’t leave me
Except in my worst kind of dreams.

Chocolate sprinkles can’t hug and kiss me.
They can’t even stroke my cheek,
But they liven up my whole demeanor
And make me smile when I am weak.

Chorus

I don’t want no hot fudge sundae.
I don’t want no banana split.
I sure as hell don’t want no sorbet.
And waffle cones taste like shit.

Chorus.


[130]